How to Deal With a Jealous and Possessive Friendship
Throughout your life you come across different types of personalities, people and groups. You choose a select few to share your inner thoughts with, to be there with you on this journey of life and to understand you like your family never could. You Tweet one another, you go to the mall together, you chat on Skype, you hang out at school, you eat lunch together and you share your deepest, darkest secrets with the one person that will never, ever judge you. One day, you wake up and realize that this is what a best friend feels like. Many have referred to this epiphany as “the soul mate moment”. Unfortunately, after a few months, the friendship doesn’t have the same oil it had earlier. Your best friend becomes possessive, stalker-like and conniving. You feel hurt. Why did he/she become a different person all of a sudden?
It’s called the green-eyed monster in modern day vernacular. You remember how children on the playground always taunted, “Jealousy makes you nasty”? Yes, your friend has become jealous. He/she wants you all to him/herself and in order to achieve this, your friend turns on you and the friendship collapses like a poorly construed plot in a horror film. Psychologists believe that jealousy is actually a primordial instinct that’s been around for centuries. According to an article on Oprah.com, “Throughout our primordial past it discouraged desertion by a mate, bolstering the family unit and enabling the survival of the young. At the same time, it has pushed us to abandon philanderers—and many a futile match—in favor of more stable and rewarding partnerships.” See? Your friend is basically, at his/her core, terrified of desertion. Does this make your friend a bad person? Not necessarily so, but what makes the relationship toxic is the overly possessive nature of a jealous friend. He/she will smother you until there is nothing more left in you to smother. He/she will eat your life like a hungry wolf in search of constant prey. It is not a very healthy relationship, nor is it beneficial to your life.
What do you do? Do you dessert your friend? Do you pack up and leave? In most cases, yes, but yes and no are always the easiest answers. Psychologists believe that a jealous friend/BF/GF/WTF should be held accountable for his/her actions and it should be brought to their attention that what they’re doing is unhealthy and counterproductive. If they do not listen and continue to take control of your life, get out immediately – true friends do not own you, they merely exist alongside you.
A jealous friend can be an extremely dangerous force in your life. He/she will always attempt to take control of everything you do and decide which people you’re “allowed” to hang out with. Take a drop of wisdom from Celeb Teen Laundry and remember – you decide who you need in your life, no-one else is allowed to decide for you. If your jealous friend acts out again, ensure that you make the correct decision and stick to it.
Let us know in the comments if you’ve ever had a jealous friend and how you dealt with it.