Underage Drinking Is Cool, It Has been Destroying Futures For Centuries

You’re chilling at a party with all of your friends. They pop out the keg, open the tap, and drain all that ice cold beer into a red cup. You sip slowly, but eventually your head feels woozy and you feel untouchable. You drink more. You feel like dancing, so you jump on the table and dance until you fall with your face into the Elmo looking boy’s crotch. Not a problem, you can just drink some more and the fear of embarrassment will go away! You drink another five cups. You feel weird. You can’t breathe, you can’t speak, and you can’t think.

Your mind is muddled with thoughts and blurry images. You fall on the couch and pass out, but it’s not like normal sleeping, it’s more like being in a comatose state. You wake up a few hours later. You feel nauseas, so you vomit on the guy passed out on your lap. Your friends eventually find you, take you home, and put you to bed (without waking your parents up). The next morning all hell breaks loose in your head. You’re thirsty, empty, nauseas, shaky, and feel like a truck ran over you. It’s not a great feeling, but you’ll live. You make your way to your PC, switch it on, and log into Facebook. The red image of 50 notifications pop up on the screen like throat cancer, you click, you read, and then…

Is that you? Is that really you? Did you really have naked fun with a guy in the Jacuzzi? Why did your friend take the picture? What happened? Why are there photos of you kissing random dudes? And most importantly, why can’t you remember a single thing that happened last night? You vomit on your keyboard when you realize that your entire school now knows that you didn’t wear underwear at the party and that your left nipple is a bit weird.

Does the above sound familiar? Underage drinking is cool. Yes, we admit, it is fun to be the cool kid in your group of friends who can play beer pong better than anyone else. It’s fun to be the daring one who never backs down from a challenge. Hey, at least people will be talking about you five years from now. “Hey dude, you remember Jenna? That girl who used to drink so much in high school? I heard she’s pregnant now, but she’s most probably going to sell her baby for Vodka!”  Underage drinking is cool. Hey, people will remember your name, even though you’re currently pregnant, stuck in a dead-end job, and drinking Vodka to ease the troubles. You had that wonderful scholarship at Harvard, but the police arrested you that night when you were chilling with your friends, drank all that beer, and drove home in your Sweet Sixteen SUV. You can’t remember it, and you don’t want to remember it. You also had sex that night with a boy you hardly knew. He is now the father of your unborn child. Fortunately for him, he is currently living it up at Harvard. He’s studying to become a lawyer. You, on the other hand, are lost, broken, damaged, and useless. Not because you’re pregnant, stuck in a dead-end job, and drinking Vodka to ease the troubles, but because the life you dreamed of since you were five-years-old never happened as you imagined it. You are a ruined shell of your former self. If only you didn’t drink all that alcohol that night when you were chilling with your friends, and ruined your entire life.

Underage drinking is cool. Really, it is. It has been changing lives and destroying futures for centuries.